Now here are the rules from the male side !!!

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side - These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints Do Not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark anniversaries and birthdays on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes . What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with yourdress? 1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost everyquestion. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,all comments become null and void after 7 days.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1. Captain Cook did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. All men see in only 16 colours, like the Windows default settings.Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-readingability is not proof of how little we care about you.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing'swrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer youdon't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.Really!